I was having coffee with a close friend and fellow CEO recently, shooting the breeze about things we've noticed in business over the years.
One observation we both recognized was how people use the words "we" and "you" when talking about the company they're a part of.
It seems like a small thing, but sometimes, a change in those words makes me wonder whether something else has changed.
Here are a few situations we talked about:
1. When someone starts to feel less connected.
An employee who once said, "We should improve how we handle this," starts saying, "You should change how you handle this."
The suggestion itself may be helpful, but what catches my attention is the shift from talking as part of the company to talking about it from the outside.
I've sometimes noticed that shift when someone seems to be checking out or hasn't fully connected with the culture. It makes me wonder: does the language reflect a growing distance?
2. When ownership changes with the results.
This can show up among leaders, investors, and business partners too.
When the company hits its targets, the conversation sounds like, "We had a great quarter," or "We're building something strong."
When results fall short, it becomes, "You missed your targets," or "Here's what you need to fix."
The people involved haven't changed. But the language around who owns the outcome has.
It's easy to feel part of a success. I find it interesting when that sense of shared ownership seems to fade during a setback. And it's something worth listening for in our own language, too.
3. When "you" simply makes sense.
Of course, there are perfectly reasonable explanations.
If someone on another team asks for advice, "You should consider this," may be exactly the right response. The same applies when a fellow CEO asks how I would approach a challenge in their business.
I'm offering a perspective. They own the decision.
That's why I wouldn't read too much into one sentence. What interests me is a pattern or a change in how the same person talks about the same company over time.
My friend and I recognized the observation, but I'm curious whether others do too.
Have you noticed a shift between "we" and "you" in business conversations? If so, what did you make of it?
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